The Heart Learning

Bismillaah,

The event this day has reminded me to a story back in 2006...yes 8 years ago. That night..under the starry sky. I held up my head. Behind your back. Wishing for an unending night. Cause I knew..that time would be our last nite. A moment that I wouldn't have anymore if the dawn came up. And I would never forget too...the time when I had finally realised, this kind of story would never be on my side.

It was like a blue night for me...my unrequited love. Someone who never looked at me as a prescious story. The time when I said to my self to not easily give my heart to any man I saw.

Like today. Under the blue sky and a long long road. Behind your back. Hoping for a slow time rolling. A longer n never ending time. I felt like the moment 8 years ago came suddenly before my eyes...n successfully stole away my smiling face. Before this time, I kept reminding my self...my heart for sure...to stop, to prevent...to just being an ice mount. But I am failed. It flows like a flood. I try n try n try to make a big gate. A thick wall. But all seems to be useless. I can't stop it. I can't help falling in heart.

I cried silently. I...who watch you from a far place and from a silence...felt so hurted. Why I keep being like this many times. Why my heart never learned. Why this heart is such a stubborn head. Why?
Why I keep doing this even if I know that the end is already clear. It will always be me who be hurt.

But then I learn. This is how life touches me. This is something that I already have given up. Its a useless effort since I will always feel the same thing to different ppl with same ending again and again.

Now I've learned.

I can't always stop or prevent things like this to not be happened. I just have to receive it. I learn to live this kind of feeling. To be hurt. Cause I am a human who love to love.

In fact...it won't be long and another person will always come to replace every persons place who come to me.

This is life. There are things that can't always be fought for. And we sometimes...just have to give it up...cause it just has to...