Muhtacim (I need You)

Bismillaahi,

I hadn't talked to him for 3 days. The reason is same, didnt wanna disturb, cause we both had many tasks :D. But it was funny when yesterday we were talking, suddenly the connection made us mad :p. . then he said "How lucky we are" :D . . .

When we didnt talk for 3 days, He updated his stat, "Gitme Sana Muhtacim". . .a song lyric, then here it goes. I didnt sing it, just found the meaning only and its part of a turkish song. Hmmm. . .i didnt leave :D . . .

Gitme sana muhtacım (don't go, I need you)
Gözümde nursun başımda tacım, muhtacım (you're the brightness of my eyes,(you're) the crown on my head, I'm destitute)
Beni öldür öyle git (kill me before you go)
Yaşamak için senin sevgine muhtacım (I need your love to be alive)

Muhtacım gözlerine (I need your eyes)
Muhtacım sözlerine (I need your words)
Uzattım ellerimi (I reach out my hands)
Muhtacım ellerine, gitme (I need your hands, don't go)

Şimdi bomboş ellerim (now, my hands are empty)
Seni çağırır yaşlı gözlerim (my teary eyes are calling you)
Muhtacım (I'm destitute)

Beni öldür öyle git (kill me before you go)
Yaşamak için senin sevgine muhtacım (I need your love to be alive)

Sensiz bir dünyadayım (I'm in a world without you)
Gerçekten uzak bir rüyadayım, muhtacım (in a dream far from reality, I'm destitute)
Beni sensiz dünyadan ((take me) from the world without you)
Sonsuz rüyadan uyandırda git, muhtacım (wake me up from the endless dream, I'm destitute)

Muhtacım gözlerine (I need your eyes)
Muhtacım sözlerine (I need your words)
Ruhumu ıstacak (need your warm breath)
Sımsıcak nefesine, gitme (which warms my soul, don't go)





Gitme sana muhtacım (don't go, I need you)
Gözümde nursun başımda tacım, muhtacım (you're the brightness of my eyes,(you're) the crown on my head, I'm destitute)
Beni öldür öyle git (kill me before you go)
Yaşamak için senin sevgine, muhtacım (I need your love to be alive)

Sooner there would be our time, inshaaAllaah. . .

berharap pada Allaah ta'ala

Bismillaahi,


Resah. . .

Bisakah aku menanti ketidakpastian ini. Apa lagi-lagi semua mimpi ini hanya angan yang berakhir dengan kekecewaan, dan berganti lagi dan lagi dengan cerita yang lain. Inilah kesalahan dari sebuah harapan dan mimpi, yang tak seharusnya menyertakan suatu nama. Hingga selalu berharap pada NYa, bahwa akan ada masa depan dalam cerita ini.

Ketidakpastian ini, hanya kepada Allaah aku berserah. Berdoa dan tetap berikhtiar, agar semua ini tidak terlalu melampaui batas. Demi kebaikan yang sama-sama dicitakan, untuk mendatangi janjiNya.

Jarak, waktu, usia, iman, impian-impian. . . menjadi bagian dari faktor-faktor perajut cerita ini. Ada kalanya ingin berhenti saja, dan bangun dari tidur yang terasa panjang. Mengakhiri mimpi yang terukir terlalu tinggi. . .
karena Jika jatuh, akan terasa jauh lebih sakit.


Yakinkanlah aku, bahwa kita memang bermimpi tinggi
Dan akan selalu berusaha untuk mewujudkannya
semoga dengan cara yang baik dan diridhoi NYa

Yakinkanlah aku, Rasa dan mimpi kita sama
Dan kita tidak akan menempatkannya diatas Cinta kita padaNya
semoga keimanan kita, menjadi jembatan mendatangi janjiNya.

Yakinkanlah aku, agar selalu bisa menantimu.
Dan jika memang nantinya tak berakhir bahagia
semoga kesabaran dan keikhlasan selalu ada disana.

Yakinkanlah aku, agar menjadi kuat melawan ketidakpastian
Dan hanya kepada Allah lah kita selalu berharap
Semoga janji Allaah lah penguat jalan kita


Karena aku mencintai Rabb ku, melebihi apapun dan siapapun di dunia ini. . .dan aku ingin kau pun begitu. . .
dan kita akan sama-sama meyakini. . .mimpi ini. . .bisa terwujud suau hari nanti, inshaaAllaah. .

Scared

Bismillaahi,
I wrote this at 2009. . . .


Allah. . .you know this so sure, that i wanna be nOrmaL like them. i never wanna be like this. what ive been doing now, is the way how i try to control my self not to be worse. . .
Allah. . .help me and pull me out of this place, the situation that stucked me so much. . .but its true. . .theres no one understand. . .no one. . .
they never know how i am for sure. . .
and i have nothing to explain. . .cz words never be good things to tell how my feelings. . ..n it makes me become worse on their eyes. . .
Allah. . .what are u trying to show me. . .iam a desperate girl. cz i dont understand at all. . .
and u would punish me of thinking this stupid thing. . .
why i have to be here if i dont have any strength. . .if i think i coulnd pass these all. . .
Allah. . .please forgive all the mistakes and sins ive done. . .just because i never won fighting the satan inside my self. . .
Allah. . .always guide me. . .whenever i am down. . .and raise me up when i cant take it on my own foots. . .
Allah. . .these tears. . .i never show to others, , ,just because i wanna shoe u. . .this is how my heart feels about life. . .that doesnt needs ones attentions. . .
Allah. . ..permit me. . .one day. . .to see ur face with these all weak steps and spirit. . .cause u know it so sure. . .that i really scared if i fall down in the deepest place when no one could help even their own selves. . .
God. . .Guide me. . . in this very crowdy roads that noone cares about me. . . .
i love u God. . .help me to stand up whenever i fall down. . .like now. . . ..amin.. .
ure always be the one. . .and now. . .i have to face this word with a big smile a worse cry inside, so i will always make u be in my heart. . .
love U love U. . . . .
star. . . .lil star. . .