Bismillaahi,
Everything looks plainer than I think before. I was just a lil pushy for all the things I have and haven’t. Being thankful, a word that I am used to say, but it was only words until we really do it. well yeah, I am an introvert. And I observe my surroundings all the time, which at last, lead them to my own self. I believe it, that we are part of the things happened in our way. So, I don’t blame others, I blame my own self.
Did you have a bad experience? I guess yes, because everyone did. At past, I got rejection from my surroundings. I listen to them . . . to their rejection and found out the answer. The answer led me to a conclusion about people. They wished to see what they wanted to see. What the community wanted to see. And I answered their wish on me. Yeah, I threw away “the rejected me” inside and be like what they wanted me to be. After years . . . it made me lost the old me. And those people keep using me, keep intimidating me.
Do we always have to be like this?
But you know, I cant blame them. It’s like they have the right to receive or reject anything. And if I wanna be acknowledged by them, it means that I have to fulfill the criteria. And maybe it was my own matter that I wasn’t in their list. It would be too egoist if I asked people to receive me the way I did, right?
Sorry for my random posting
Watching “The brave One” . . .it reminds me of my life. I wanna survive, so I kill the “me” inside my self, and become a stranger.
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